CONTEXT DURING HIATUS

​Unfortunately, Jonathan and Maggie missed 6 rehearsals due to vacations, studio unavailability, children’s illnesses, and family medical procedures.  During this period of time, Jonathan and Sherri processed many emotional issues and external dynamics that constitute the context within which Jonathan has been operating.  These circumstances will inevitably shape the content of his work and his approach to the rehearsal process.
 

• Even though the June 15th rehearsal was cancelled, Jonathan was anxious to keep working.  Being in the studio with Maggie and the music is his touchstone to his creative self.  So he reviewed the most recent video as a way to touch base with the piece for his “own spirit.”  He also connected with the work by processing various dynamics with Sherri.
• Since he tends to feel angry and sad when his creative plans are thwarted, Jonathan is trying to practice resilience – being able to “roll with the punches.”
• Jonathan began writing poetry while on vacation.  It helped him process a variety of emotions.

• Since Jonathan’s sister-in-law’s studio in Croton-on-Hudson is not available during the summer, Jonathan and Maggie will be able to rehearse in a different studio in Hawthorne.
• Jonathan’s sister-in-law is unable to watch Jonathan’s kids during rehearsals over the summer.  Fortunately, Jonathan found a great child care provider who is available during rehearsal times.
• Jonathan committed to setting and achieving certain body and health goals.  He wants to get back into shape -- “feel like myself again.”  He would like to be strong and flexible enough to “keep up with the kids.”  Tactics include limbering up daily, practicing yin yoga 4 times a week, and losing the weight he gained while “nesting.”  How does he do this?  Simple: Jonathan is on the “I don’t eat that“ diet!  He realized that losing weight required a change in attitude.  Saying “no” to things with a sense of sass allows him to feel good about it; he wants to feel “proud” when saying no to certain foods.  It is not a diet of deprivation; instead, he tries to make healthy food delicious.  The approach is working; Jonathan has lost weight and experienced a decrease in appetite.  Besides, it’s fun to access your inner fierceness.
• Jonathan was offered a university position teaching dance to non-dance majors in the fall.  He wrestles with the pros and cons of the decision:

1. Loves teaching dance.
2. Opportunity for class to provide a pipeline of future dancers for Jonathan’s projects and/or company.
3. Choreography he creates for class may be adapted for use in future pieces.
4. The job would keep Jonathan visible to colleagues and administration.
5. Will he be paid enough to cover child care for this class and still have enough left over for child care for his other projects?
6. Is this how he wants to spend the limited amount of time he has for his creative pursuits?

Ultimately, he decides to take the job.

• Jonathan and his wife Rhonda found a wonderful child care provider who can help free up a little more time for Jonathan to pursue his creative passions.
• Jonathan is consciously trying to plug in to his core and listen more closely to the information that surfaces.  One realization is the importance of him dancing at least 4 times a week -- if not every day.
• While he finds certain dance videos posted on social media to be inspiring, others can trigger a myriad of emotions.  One video that featured the work of a variety of popular, contemporary choreographers was especially difficult to watch.  Jonathan considers some of these choreographers to be among the best in the world; he admires many of them, worked with some of them, and even taught one.  Jonathan imagined that this group of choreographers comprises a sort of “best of” list -- then berated himself for not being on that “list.”
• The potential business venture that Jonathan has been discussing with colleagues seems to be moving forward.  Key foundational elements are taking shape.
• He is considering the formation of a group with former professional dance colleagues who all put dance “on pause” to start families.  They have severe time constraints, but desperately want to remain connected to their artistic core selves.  Early thoughts include taking class together, allowing their kids to run around the studio together, and keeping the process open-ended to see what creative ideas emerge from their collaboration.

 
Jonathan and Sherri discuss the importance of artists who are full-time caregivers having a safe space to process their experiences (both physically and emotionally) and have a crucial creative outlet.  These artists-turned-parents undergo tremendous tumult as they transition to what is truly a new world.  As professional dancers, they are accustomed to pursuing technical virtuosity, working constantly, and committing themselves to projects that involve large amounts of time and, often, travel.  Schedules are frequently changing and somewhat unpredictable.  Maintaining this lifestyle is one thing if you are not married and don’t have a family; it’s quite another when you become a parent.  How can you continue to create AND raise a family under the conditions in which you are used to operating?  While this is a well-documented struggle for ALL working parents, it is especially tricky for artists.  Jonathan and Sherri contemplate the necessity of creating a new paradigm with creative professionals.  They imagine offering a safe, nurturing space in which artists can figure out how to navigate these new waters over time – and do it in the company of supportive colleagues who are all in the same boat.  While the individual details differ, everyone is operating in a new context.  They could collectively explore how to fulfill their creative needs while living under totally new circumstances that usually allow little time for such endeavors.  Jonathan would like to create a supportive environment in Westchester where artists can think outside the box and address these challenges together.
 
A paradigm shift is particularly appropriate for the more “seasoned” artist.  Artistry is developed and refined over a long period of time; dancers and figure skaters, for example, tend to be viewed as “complete” dancers/skaters only when they have inculcated and mastered a high level of artistic expression.  Jonathan and Sherri reason that dancers with families are likely to be at a stage in which they no longer maintain the demanding technical training regimens that characterized their early years in the field.  Therefore, this stage would be the perfect time to concentrate on the development of their artistry.  By approaching their art in a new way, dance professionals might discover that it is indeed possible to raise a family and maintain your artistic identity.
 
Jonathan and Sherri will continue to explore the feasibility of this initiative.  They will also consider documenting the development of this project as part of Process in Real Time.
 

• A local studio that Jonathan has choreographed for and taught at many times has offered him a space grant.  As Jonathan considers this opportunity, he and Sherri imagine the advantages to both Jonathan and the studio of their affiliation -- particularly if Jonathan’s work with professional dancers who are also parents is based in this studio.
• Jonathan confided that he wishes he had established a more “successful” trajectory in the dance field before he left to have a family.  He tends to feel like a “failure” since he took a break from the field before he had achieved his goal of running a “successful” company and being regarded as one of the best modern dance choreographers.  He described being in a state of irritation as he finds himself rubbing up against “the shoulds” when these internalized mandates conflict with his authentic needs.  Together with Sherri, Jonathan started to challenge these preconceived notions.  He realized that his definition of success was an “outside-in” conception based on societal messages and the paths chosen by other people.  Sherri challenged him to realize that he can’t possibly feel grounded in a world that is not a byproduct of his own unique needs and inclinations.  He has been expecting himself to do the same things as someone operating in a completely different context.

 
In fact, now that he is operating in a new context as a parent, his choices will always be shaped by his new circumstances.  He has no choice but to conduct his life differently.  However, Jonathan is starting to look at these dynamics as presenting a great opportunity to travel different paths that derive from a truly authentic place.
 
Moreover, while making meaning of these internal experiences, Jonathan and Sherri observed that Jonathan was conflating “failure” with his understandable disappointment and frustration over challenging contextual dynamics.  For years, Jonathan wrestled with the difficulty of building a sufficient infrastructure for his company and struggled with numerous psychological and logistical impediments.  Tough circumstances?  Yes.  A failure of the self?  No.